I'm afraid to close my

I'm afraid to close my eyes. I'm afraid to open them.

No, that's Blair Witch. I'm afraid to close my eyes because then I'll fall asleep. When I wake up, I'm going on the Hollywood diet for two days.

(No, I don't believe I can lose 10 real pounds in 10 days. I do believe I could use a structured juice-style fast for a couple of days to reset a few dials. The stone I've gained this year has been especially heavy of late, particularly in the feet.)

I'll let you know how it goes. Remember my bagel phase?