WMH #43

It's not Wednesday, there is no h'mping afoot, and I've probably lost my mind somewhere between here and the town's new "chili parlour," but what's a girl (still) to do without her Friday Five? Behold, Wednesday Mind Hump -- Week 43.

1. You have a magic faucet in your home that dispenses whatever you want in unlimited quantities -- it will never run dry. What is it that flows from your faucet?
   How sad -- the left side of this cross-patched noggin' immediately thought "water!" because it's the perfect base to so many other fluids. (As opposed to liquid methane, I guess.) Actually, my first thought was "Smart Watermelon," but I'm trying to ease back on being the top Google result for this elusive Fanta flavour. (Assuming you search with quotation marks. Don't you? And do Brits resent having to use double quotation marks when searching?)

2. On your way to work/school you see a billboard with you on it which advertises your best character or physical attribute. What sort of picture would be on the billboard and what would the one-line advertisement say?
   I'm afraid that lately this billboard would show only my hand, giving the thumbs-up sign. Something about teaching teenagers occasionally turns me into The Fonz. (If you want to feel really old, check out the "Age Protection" questions on the original Leisure Suit Larry.)

   And the accompanying advertisement to the only semi-ironic thumbs-up sign would have to be "Always So Happy!" Which I'm not, definitely not, but two students marveled the other day over the fact that I am (even though I'm not), so I suppose I'll just give the drive-by fans what they want.

   (And, truthfully, I am usually quite upbeat for their class, except for lately when I've just been dog-tired, even with some full nights of sleep here and there. I regret to say that I'm counting the days until ST is over and my life is just a sea of good night's sleeps and crushing anxiety over finding a teaching job.)

3. Using the letters of the title of your blog or your internet nick, create a list of things for which you are thankful.
   This blog is still, according to MovableType, called "Spindled Brocade," although I've lost the chance mood I was in whenever I named it. (The bummer-thing about consolidating almost all of the blogs on this site has been losing the various and ever-changing names for each category.)

   I am thankful for...

   Skies that are blue without being oppressively bright
   Pizza, despite all attempts otherwise
   Ichthyologists, but probably only because of Insaniquarium
   Nuts that make my hamsters happy (wal*, pea*)
   D, for making my initials offensive even when I insert the middle one
   Loans from federal entities who surely expect grad students to sit around and watch sitcoms on DVD all day while pondering Margery Kempe -- surely that's why they let you borrow enough to carefully craft a $40,000+ debt along with a brain filled with scholarly anecdotes about medieval literature
   Eggs, because of that Incredible Edible Egg campaign
   Daisies and Daffodils
   

   Bracelets that look like earthworms
   Rain. Rain. Rain. Please. Need Rain. More.
   Ocarinas, and students who are impressed when I can spot an ocharina from 16 feet away, and students who tell me that instructions for making my own snake-or-other-animal ocarina can be found online
   Cars, or really just my own fully-paid-for car. The rest of you, I don't think you should drive so much. Bad for the air.
   Able-bodied hamsters
   Disappointed -- as a word, since it's so funny when my mentor teacher says "pisaddointed." Also because I'm disappointed to have so many "D" letters in my blog name. I'm tired of "D"s. Where is the H for Harry Potter? (No, I couldn't work backwards from the Dursleys.)
   Ex Libris. I just love that we live in a world with bookplates. It says something about us. Like, who used to own the book before some thoughtless friend borrowed it, never returned it, and then sold it to a used bookstore one day.
   

4. You've heard the terms King of Pop and Drama Queen. Thinking along the same lines, what would you be king or queen of?
   I am a Quicken Queen. Having to tell my best friend, the computer, everything I spend every day (including that orange soda from the vending machine, yes) is about the only thing keeping me from sulking my way over to Hastings tonight for some sort of boxed DVD set.

   (See, I want to read Mansfield Park, but reading it online is tedious and, er, I haven't actually used my Palm since relinquishing the desktop, and installing the Palm software on the laptop is no big deal, but man do I hate plugging in the serial cable for the PDA itself -- serial ports are unsexy! And of course I can't be bothered to get a converter. And of course I live in a town where no used bookstore is open at 7:30 p.m., which is when my Austen cravings started. And of course I'm not going to Hastings to pay $5 for a copy -- not when you can read it online. Mrs. Parker only thought she had a vicious circle.)

5. You are a social police officer and have the authority to approach people and ticket them for their offenses -- like The Fashion Police or the Manners Police. What police force would you be on and what sort of tickets would you issue?
   Assuming that outstanding warrants would bar employment with the first force, I'll happily attend cadet training at the Manners Police Academy. Until Charlie takes me away from all that.