'Tis My Season

I love this time of the year. It's a special time, a time when I give Mike the orange and black version of how life once was (and, of course, should still be, but isn't).

Halloween! This is not an Australian holiday. Mike tells me about the one time he went trick or treating, using it to bolster my argument that the daytime trick or treating fad of recent years is a pointless sham that makes a mockery of our lords Candy Corn and the Great Pumpkin.

Me: So, you went out at night, you did it properly?

Mike: Yep.

Me: And you didn't even have your parents watching from the end of the street?

Mike: Nope.

Me: Wow! That's such a big deal in the T-or-T timeline - when you're cut loose enough to canvas the street by yourself. Mom and Dad get less bored, and you get more collection time. It's just like when you wise up enough to ditch the little plastic jack-o-lantern bucket and grab a pillowcase. Milestones.

Mike: Of course, ninety percent of the people told us to get f*cked.

Me: What? Really? (This being Australia, who knows?)

Mike: Well, not really, but as you know, it's not really a holiday here.

Me: Oh, right.

Mike: I mean, we didn't dress up or anything.

Me: You didn't dress up?

Mike: No.

Me: You went up to people's houses, without a costume, asking for candy?

Mike: Yes.

Me: Honey, that's not trick-or-treating, that's begging.

Poor Australians. But at least they were out at night. You know what's wrong with youth today? They don't hop around the living room, pulling at their court jester tights or bridal satin or Wonder Woman bracelets, anxiously watching the horizon for the sun to go down like they're living in Sunnydale circa 1997.

I've explained to Mike, over the years, about candy trading and the dreaded Bit O' Honeys or raisins and so on and so on, but this post reminded me of a little something I'd forgotten/repressed: PENNIES!

Remember people who gave out pennies on Halloween? OMG. People! It was just like when you're fighting one of the Dark Eight and you carelessly Get All Corpse and - oh damnit - now you're wearing a big, heavy cursed noremove ring, and just wait until you decide to have that ring unflagged and restrung to your wedding ring. The imm who designed that level of Hell gets all pissy because romance is not what he had in mind when he designed the area. It's not themey. This on a MUD where mighty warriors don fishnet hose and paladins think nothing of sporting leathery bat wings.

(I digress.)

You people who gave out pennies were fiends. What could you buy for five pennies in 1980? Five horehound sticks at Ye Olde Candy Shoppe on some summer family vacation to Ohio. That's it.

And if five people gave you five pennies? Thanks for the shiny dead weight. Did you not see the pillow case? You better have complimented my homemade fairy wings covered in silver star stickers and attached with attractively bent coat hangers, that's all I'm saying.

25 October 2005 |



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