Banned: The *'s Daughter/Wife

Honestly. This is becoming a mess.

The Bishop's Wife (will be exempt due to age)
The Time-Traveler's Wife (hate it, by the way - sorry)
The Zookeeper's Wife
The Kitchen God's Wife
The Senator's Wife
The Preacher's Wife (already banned for other reasons)
Shakespeare's Wife
The Butcher's Wife
The Baker's Wife
(Does no one make candles any more?)

The Memory Keeper's Daughter
The Grave Digger's Daughter (I don't care if it is JCO - she should know better)
The General's Daughter
The Hummingbird's Daughter
Galileo's Daughter (may be given a stay due to the missing article)

And those are just the top 50ish results for "wife" and "daughter" on Amazon.

I'm not saying this because I'm bitter, what with how back in 1995 I met a fetching river otter, and I was so taken with his playfulness (but lack of mate) that I was inspired to write a story called "The River Otter's Wife." By "inspired" I mean just that - I was inspired, but I didn't actually act upon the muse dust. C'est La Moi. The title was enough.

But it looks like I should have come up with some scribbles, because apparently all you need to create something marketable is to call it "The (Something)'s Daughter" or "The (Something's) Wife." They're everywhere, I tell ya! Much like that annoying trend, which I know I've mentioned at least twice before, of forming movie (and some book) titles as "*ing (Noun)."

Chasing Amy. Judging Amy. Saving Silverman. Saving Private Ryan. Saving Grace (a person). Saving Jessica Lynch. Saving Millie. Saving Shiloh. Saving Angelo. Saving Sarah Cain. Saving Emily. Saving Jackie. Saving Luna. (I can't be bothered typing any more "Saving"s.) Killing Mr. Griffin. Teaching Ms. Tingle. Leaving Las Vegas. Losing Isaiah. Eating Raoul. (I can't be bothered typing any more ing's at all.)

I should write The River Otter's Wife, then sell the movie rights for $1 if the producers will promise to call the adaptation "Nuzzling Margaret." (I just decided that this is the name of the wife. Or maybe not.)

I really do love all kinds of otters. They're just aquabunnies, you know.

12 April 2008 |



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