No, I'm not referring to my "surprise" Christmas present of new radiator hoses and a coolant box thingie and other couriered parts plus all the same costs again in labor. After the new power window mechanism on my birthday and then this, Mike and I would like the universe to know that we've already exchanged gifts for our anniversary. And Valentine's Day. We weren't planning anything special for MLK Day, but we can probably whip up some hug coupons or something. Just please don't feel the need to gift us with, say, a new engine. We're good.
Now on to the topic: "gift" as a verb.
I first heard the controversy ("Can you use 'gift' as a verb?") several years ago. The answer? "Sure - there's plenty of historical precedent." And I thought, "Isn't that quaint? I never heard of such a thing, but I just love those old usages. I'm glad someone is keeping them up. It's nice to have an alternative now and again."
That was then.
Now is now.
Okay, let me tell a story. It's not interesting, just appropriate.
When I first started playing with Paint Shop Pro, back in the early days of the web, every image I made had to have a drop shadow. Because - whoa - suddenly I could have drop shadows wherever I wanted. There was a lack of drop shadows in the world, and drop shadows are cool, so I was set to correct the deficit. Heavily correct.
For Mike, it was the outer bevel tool.
For the rest of the planet, it is now "gifted (pronoun)," and I'm not referring to a special ed program for precocious parts of speech.
I know it is fine to say, "He gifted me with chocolates." But! There is something wrong with the way everyone has decided, in terrible and unprecedented unison, to kick out "give" and "gave" and "giver" in favour of "gift" and "gifted" and "gifter."
I see it at Sam's Club. ("Gift your family with...") I saw it on a certain popular blog last night. I read it in a new book this morning. It's all over Facebook. (Thanks to Heather and Anne, I finally decided to get jiggy with FB. If anyone reading this is on the site and wants to add me as a friend, I'm cool with that. As I only have three Facebook friends at the moment, we could even say you were gifting me with more social credibility than I probably deserve.)
I understand that "gift" has a different nuance than "gave." The former has the connotation of a heart and selflessness, while the latter could involve anything, from a harsh sentence to salt at the dinner table to a cold glare to a second chance to whatever.
It's not that using "gift" where one would have recently heard "gave" is bad. I've always been a fan of the word "re-gifting." But, "re-gifting" focuses on the actual gift, the noun, and not so much on rebranding the existing verb "gave."
No... what gets me is... is... it's like, all of these people seem to be trying to spice up their writing (funnily, I'm not hearing the word much) by rephrasing what - until recently - would be "gave." Except it totally backfires because, instead of an eloquent change of pace, it's a baZOOOkah horn. LOOK AT ME I CAN HAZ A WORD IT IS SHINY SEE SEE?*
*(This introduces the unprobed link between comic horn noises and LOLcat speech.)
Masses of people using "gift/ed" where "give" and "gave" will do reminds me of my first proper day on Facebook. Trying out every application, searching for people I haven't spoken to since fifth grade, just excited to be playing with something new. There's a word for this, I think? Oh yeah: Noob.
Maybe that's not to all of those writers who are genuinely using their own voices, but the record should show that, right or wrong, readers are being jarred. (Google around.) It's especially telling that I'm more bothered by the usage now than I was ten years ago.
Still, I know the burden is on me to get used to it. Ours is a changing language, and I love that.
But, those who are choosing to use "gift/ed" where "give/gave" has the same meaning should perhaps think of what they want to accomplish. Are they trying to mix things up to be a little more special, a little less same-old? If so, keep the trendiness of "gift/ed" in mind. (Or the number of kids one meets these days named "Unique.") These are not the words you're looking for.**
**(The Jedi hand wave is implied.)
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