I just learned that jaw motion helps create earwax.
Less pleasant knowledge is that, due to a mix-up that is mostly Disney's fault but which I already know they will never-ever admit, I'm about to become the owner of Prince Caspian on DVD. I already resent the money we spent to see this at the theatre, but perhaps someone on Craigslist is up for an interesting trade. Almost anything will do, unless Steven Segal's in it. (Sorry, Dad.)
FYI: the photos of earwax on Wikipedia are completely gross.
(I'm a wet-type earwax person, as befits my Anglo heritage, but since moving to the desert I have had some surprisingly powdery days. Never flakes, though - that is reserved for the thin moundish casts of my nostrils that come flying out every other time I blow my nose.)
I don't know if I mentioned, back in autumn, my suddenly itchy ears? And how I seem to get itchy ears whenever feeling allergic or having a cold or, recently, when waltzing with the flu? And with those itchy ears always comes a greater amount of earwax?
Well, consider it mentioned. Plus now I have a painful lump on the outside of my ear, near the "entrance." I assume it's a grody underground pimplish thing, but it may also be the young cocoon of a Ceti eel.
(You know, the burrowing worm Khan released into Chekov's ear.)
(Hey, what is with YouTube not having my back on this?)
(Just as BBSes were invented to share 60k GIFs of Marina Sirtis naked - or "naked," or "Marina Sirtis" - YouTube was invented to provide visual support for all Star Trek references, especially those to do with Khan. Show some respect for Senor Montalban, people.)
Dumb question for people who aren't reading this: can I make a direct appointment with a specialist, or do I need a referral? Mike's doctor (who is also my doctor) referred Mike to an excellent ENT guy when Mike was having all of his problems in December/January. As a bonus, Mike got a thorough ear-cleaning. Apparently the yield of waxy debris was very satisfying, and for awhile Mike thought he might even be hearing better.
I guess I could call the involved parties and see what the policy is, but I think I'd rather wait for the lump to burst into a bevy of parasailing baby spiders, thus finally fulfilling the prophecy of that urban legend.
I note, again via Wikipedia (Hey! Margene's comment about Wikipedia on Big Love two weeks ago is the reason I can't cancel HBO.), that the docs now say to not only avoid Q-tips, but to not even mess with your earwax at all unless it is "causing health problems." But what of the mental health problems I will have if I don't get the occasional eargasm? (I learned that word in a Rolling Stone interview with Demi Moore, circa St. Elmo's Fire and her relationship with Emilio Estevez. I can't remember the first time I saw such lovely words as dulcet and infuse and gossamer, but I can practically cite an issue number for "eargasm." Nice.)
And if it's true that using Q-tips just pushes the wax in deeper, then I am (ironically) even less able to keep from messing around with cottony sticks. You mean there's more yellow gold in them there valleys?
Tintinnabulation is also a nice word. As in, "our heroine may experience tintinnabulation or worse if she doesn't stop swabbing the inside cabins."
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