It's not like I didn't know that many seemingly competing brands are really all under the same parent company. A few minutes ago on Facebook there was a side-ad for a "Chocolate Grasshopper Cheesecake" recipe from Pillsbury. I clicked on the ad, and it took me to Pillsbury's page, but they had set up one of those shifty deals where you have to "Like" them in order to see the recipe. Bah. Hello, Google, right?
And Google was all, "Hello? WTH?"
And Google and I just stared at each other for a moment. Betty Crocker and the Pillsbury Doughboy are THE SAME PERSON?
When I was doing the cake decorating (getting back to that any day, sure), it was easiest and cheapest just to buy boxes of cake mix. Invariably, the brands on the shelf were Betty Crocker, Pillsbury, Duncan Hines, and sometimes a store brand, depending upon the store. (I'm not counting the "special" aisles with gluten-free options and vegan options and whatnot.)
So, while there may be three baking philosophies or levels of quality or approaches to packaged cake, there are really only two companies on the shelf?
Well, no, because while General Mills owns Betty Crocker and part of Pillsbury, the baking products part belongs to Smuckers. (Pinnacle Foods owns Duncan Hines.) So says Wikipedia, anyway.
But clearly they're in cahoots, what with offering the same cheesecake recipe AND photo.
And, clearly, this can only mean one thing: Betty and the Boy are having an affair.
And, if I may invoke and paraphrase Rule 34, this means that somewhere out there, Betty Crocker/Pillsbury Doughboy porn now exists.
Tread the fanfic boards carefully, people. The world just got creepier.