I finally did it. I finally found out what lies on the other side of "You'll catch pneumonia!"

Last weekend's bad cold transformed into Tuesday's "I'm just here so work won't think I'm skiving around, taking two days off, although breathing is still kind of tricky" evening clinic visit and surprise proclamation of "pneumonia."

They plugged me into a Phillips hookah device for ten minutes and everything.

"Your lungs sound like shit." (The first time the doctor held back on the s-word. After the session with the breathing tube and no change, he was pissed off and let loose.)

"Um, does this mean... I should stay home tomorrow?"

"Take the rest of the week off."

I think I'm doing better. Other than insomnia. (I rest, but I can't sleep more than 4-5 hours. A day. I think it's the puffy thingie. Or the steroids. I just know that I'm breathing better but getting more and more tired.) No, I'm definitely better. A little scared that Monday I'll be not quite right enough to walk around the classroom and rejoin freshie stress and such, and a lot scared that - this being "evaluation season" - I'll not be at my best when my boss comes in.

But at least I finally got over my guilt. You know, for the total elation that came with finding out I could stay home from work. The wheezing and puffing cured me of wondering if the doc was playing it too safe, maybe thinking he was taking pity on someone who no longer realizes she broadcasts "save me from the system!" with every glance.

Anyway, this is not bedjacket-and-an-Oscar pneumonia. (Every Liz Taylor joke I've tried to make since getting The Diagnosis has gone unchuckled. So disappointing.) This is obviously "walking pneumonia," although walking is a little ambitious. Better to call it "slump at the craft table and quietly hinge postage stamps into their albums pneumonia." It sounds a little more noble than "blow glue out of nose on the sofa while queueing up one Desperate Housewives after another pneumonia." (1. Blame Mike. 2. We're halfway through season six - no spoilers!)

This is also "for some reason reread your last few blog posts and wonder if you've become incapable of posting a complete sentence pneumonia." So, I'm posting a complete sentence. I still have nothing to say, but I just want to prove I can be properly boring and not mislead people with excited fragments that reveal nothing but my own terrible enjoyment of everything and nothing in particular.

Tonight I'd like to post some thoughts on scrapbooking and on the resurrected stamp albums, but I feel like either topic needs illustrative snapshots, and right now it's time to force snuggling onto Russell or Teddy. (Far more comforting than Richard or Eddie.)

05 March 2011 |






Carnival Elation (2009)
Carnival Splendor (2009)
Carnival Spirit (2010)
Carnival Spirit (2011)
Carnival Splendor (2011)
Norwegian Pearl to Alaska (2012)