Wii... Fit... Hic...

Today I popped in the Wii Fit disc, and notice my verb "popped" like it's this thing I do every day and not every 181 days. I can be specific because right away Wii Fit mentioned how long it'd been since our last workout together. Pneumonia, recovery, blah blah excuses excuses, but here I am now and let's begin again.

Wii Fit seemed glad to see me, but it couldn't hold back a few passive-aggressive jabs. "Of course I remember your name! I remember every name and every footstep!" "How are you... Mike?" (Robotic Boobah laughter.) "How is Mike?"

And then I had to pick from a list of options. Was Mike SLIMMER? Was he HEAVIER? Was he MORE TONED? Or was he THE SAME?

I chose The Same. (More Boobah cooing.) Oh, did I know that dogs are more encouraged to exercise when they see their owners do it? Maybe I could help Mike and encourage him by doing well today?

Lordy. The Roomba never sasses me like this.

But finally I made it through 24 (official) or 32 (counting be-bopping in place while switching menus) minutes of yoga (3 activities), strength training (1 activity), and aerobics (basic run, basic step, basic boxing THEN advanced boxing because I unlocked that and it was actually making me sweat and not just feel like a doof), took a shower, and am back on my butt on the sofa with a bag of tortilla chips and World of Warcraft open in another window. But I'm drinking water instead of Sprite with a shot of Toroni watermelon flavour so, you know, one step at a time.


Every year WoW has an Oktoberfest-inspired holiday called Brewfest. Year Five is underway right now - not in any kind of Stalinesque way, though - and as usual it's a lot of fun. (By the way, WoW is probably our last stop on the topic train today, so no hurt feelings if you want to activate the in-post escape parachute at this time.)

With the Cataclysm expansion and breaking of the world last year, BF (as I'm now going to abbreviate it) changed a bit in terms of where we do the daily ram racing and the stats on boss Coren Direbrew's drops, but mostly it's the same as it's been since the second year. (Yes, I was lucky enough to buy both rams the first year. And both are 10x more attractive than the ugly orange-ish Horde-side 100-mount achievement sunhawkthingie, but that's another post.) In fact, it's so similar Blizzard forgot to change the quest text for the ram racing. (Poor Mike looked for apple barrels all the way to Razor Hill and back again.)

A thousand kudos, however, for the text that went with this year's purple stein, and for adding the keg pony (not to be confused with the pony keg), so no complaints from me. That said, here are some things I'd like to see added to keep Brewfest fresh:

Trade Prince Gallywix: Okay, this is Mike's idea, but shouldn't TPG be all over this event? Maybe once a day he arrives on a mechanized litter and is just a general ass. Maybe he thinks he's owed taxes on something; I don't know. The drunk revelers ignore his petty tyrant demands, which upsets him. You get a small buff if you can chuck a sampler mug at his head without him noticing.

Dark Iron Hipsters: The poorly defined stereotype we all love to hate would be fun to see coming out of the mole machines every half-hour, but here's what I'm thinking: the dark iron dwarves invade not only for the possibility of free beer as they do now but because they're mad that we have their Dark Iron Ale. Maybe when people are in the Grim Guzzler fighting Coren Direbrew, they can stop to buy some DIA then sell it for a profit to any Brewfest vendor. (Limit the number you can buy or carry or that will be purchased in X amount of time.) Said Brewfest vendor then turns around and sells it at an outrageous markup. (And maybe a cluster of JubJub's tiny grandchildren hop around vendors who have the limited quantities for sale. Maybe selling the brew re-activates the limited quantities, and you can only sell to those who have sold out. And maybe I just realized that it's not the dark iron dwarves who are the hipsters in this scenario, tunnel-visioned righteousness aside.)

Or Alliance Blue-Brew: Some people love imports, that's all I'm saying. Maybe there could be a tie-in quest to steal some of the Alliance drinks? Attack carts on the road to Ironforge? Something PVPy that would annoy me but might be fun for others. (With a way to get the loot without winning the fight.)

Noisier Ogres: Did we used to be able to bark for the ogres? Let's bring that back. I know everyone would take option because their tent is closer to Orgrimmar, so maybe it would only be available when one of the ogres decided to take a break and walk around the grounds to stretch. (And this event would only happen every 3-7 hours, would award 20 tokens instead of 15, and if you do it 10 times, it's an achievement. Oh, and you have to keep pace with the walking ogre and be quick about it because he only does one lap.)

Gear: Anniversary tabards with a number on them (made of signature Brewfest bubbles) for the number of years you've celebrated Brewfest. (Determined by steins/Feats of Strength.) Every year you can turn it in for a new tabard. (Maybe have it just about stein pride? Because 2010's missing stein poses a problem.) Something new and useless to wear makes shopping all the more fun.

Sippy Straws: The goblins will love this the way they love their inflatable pool toys. This year's stein can't be filled from the kegs (right?), so why not sell goofy sippy straws to drink from the BF keg (ew), pony keg, or keg pony('s kegs)? And a random buff of short duration could proc based on how good the straw was and/or where you used the straw. Maybe there could be a quest to gather reeds (cheap straws?) or materials for glassblowing (curvy, lasting straws).

For my own home-based Brewfest celebratin', I finally bought a bottle of Young's Double Chocolate Stout. Is it as good as some claim, or will Whole Foods' "coffee" keyword on the display prove all too accurate?

26 September 2011 |






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Carnival Splendor (2011)
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